Flashback, um... Sunday... and saying goodbye...
Man, Friday's just get going and don't stop!
I thought about blogging all day, but just couldn't sit down.
I actually began the day getting some photos ready for this post, then kept looking at photos and thinking, until it was time to go to the grocery store...
then for a 13 mile run while E was at school...
then kids getting off the bus...
then a shower...
then a few emails in prep for my fall mini shoot that was yesterday...
then a little family shoot...
then out for date night... and there you have it!
Yesterday was full of photography and editing and lesson prep for me. I did also squeeze in a little run as well as some storage room organization. Bringing in all of my photography props jump started some much needed clean out!
So, let's flash back... to maybe 2006?
Yep, that must have been the year that I met Damita.
Her mom was baptized and became a member of the LDS faith. It was around that time I met her... at a church function. We found out we had dance in common and our friendship developed quickly.
Damita introduced me to Darlene, who owns a dance studio and I started teaching at Dance Project.
Although we had dance in common I found this gal was more to me. She was becoming a great friend. She is younger than me and in many ways feels like my little sister.
From the very beginning I've felt this need to take care of her, to answer questions about the gospel, to just love her, be there for her however I can, even when I didn't agree with her choices. Isn't that what you do for your very best friends?
She makes me laugh... hard, she's creative, she listens, she can be a little inappropriate... like myself! I can still see her finding her way, although as I look back at just the time we've known each other she has transformed into a new person in so many ways. She is beautiful!
I have loved watching her grow and find her way to love and her own happiness. I loved being there for her wedding to Christopher, and then to sit in the temple with her as they were sealed together. Chris's family and myself were there for her... at one of her most sacred moments in life. I will treasure that forever.
She has blessed my life... I love this girl!
When I was struggling getting pregnant with number 3 she and I went to audition for SYTYCD! I needed to do something for me, since I couldn't get pregnant. Crazy girls! We had a great time in Chicago! That post is
.
Her sealing...
Damita went ahead and dropped a bomb on me a few weeks ago.
She told me she and Chris were moving... to Texas. What? In three weeks!!!
She leaves this week.
She has moved before, but I wasn't so sad that time, I knew she'd be back.
This time feels different. It feels more final...
My heart breaks yet again. These dear people that I grow to love, who find their way deep into my heart just up and leave! It sucks my butt cheeks... big time!
We had lunch this past week, spent the day together... I loved it.
I have tried not to think about her moving, it makes me sad. But, the flood gates flew wide open as we sat and ate. I full on was in 'ugly cry' mode at the Corner Bakery! I couldn't keep it in! I still get weepy as I write this.
I know we will talk, but it won't be the same, it never is. We can't BE together... I can't see her goofy faces, and funny gestures. I hope it is more like my relationship with my family where we never grow apart, because we are eternal friends.
At times like this I am pricked again thinking of those who have left deep footprints on my heart as they, or I, have moved on to something different.
As I flashback I can see how I've changed.
The young girl, that had some abandonment issues, would close everything off, because it just hurts too much when people inevitably leave.
The grown woman that I
am
is not afraid of the pain. Does it hurt to say goodbye, to witness change? Of course it does. I have cried, I will cry again. My heart has ached, and will ache again.
But a decision to never open up, because I never want to hurt, would only result in a heart that was never beating and thriving. It would result in a heart that never felt joy and gratitude for the beautiful people I have in my life, for the experience I have had, for the lesson's I've learned, the laughs I've shared... A heart that is closed is a heart that is empty.
No, it is better to love, and hurt when someone leaves, than to never have experienced the journey with them.
I am sad to say goodbye. But I am so full of joy to have this woman in my life... I am sure we knew each other before this life, and I'm sure our friendship will never end, we are eternal friends.
Love you Damita!