The Winds of Change
I was running on the treadmill Wednesday (6 miles, 45 min, 7:30 pace... it's nice to be back..ish!), watching old One Tree Hill.
There was a situation, two sisters talking, one had recently left her husband.
The one who'd left said her husband had changed, wasn't the same person, they'd grown apart and so on.
Her sister said to her "People are allowed to change."
She said, yes, and "People are allowed to stay the same. The same as they've always been."
Her husband had changed and yet somehow she was the one who was broken because of it... her words.
I, very carefully, pressed rewind... because I was running and didn't want to trip!
We all change. Hopefully we evolve and get better, work on things we don't like, improve.
But, I guess we don't all do that, improve or try to be our best, not all of us are wired that way.
Some of us don't change. The things we have believed in, that make us who we are, that we cherish and love, stay constant, unchanged.
I guess sometimes even things you think would stay constant don't, we're not all wired the same.
I pressed rewind because I have felt those words.
My husband too has changed, in ways that I have stayed the same, and somehow I'm the one who feels broken.
What now?
Well, in the show I know this couple ends up getting divorced, because there has been so much 'change'.
The winds of change can be a challenge, always knocking us off balance, sometimes pushing us to new ground, uncomfortable places that we aren't familiar with. As we change and become familiar we settle in, make adjustments and continue on until another change comes again.
Sometimes the wind is more concentrated, like a tornado, swirling in a concentrated spot until all that was there, is now gone, destroyed. What do you do with the disaster?
I have felt broken because of change, sometimes I still do, honestly.
BUT, here is what I know.
Love should be constant, even through change.
I don't always live by that, and have to be reminded often... but I know that is true.
People do change, or don't change... but love shouldn't be something that is given or taken away because someone is shifting, evolving, or being swept away in a tornado of destruction!
I was thinking about this idea that same day and heard a song that I've heard many times before. It's called 'I Am Nothing' by Ginny Owens. I LOVE the version on this CD. I got choked up as I listened, from a different perspective that day. The lyrics talk about all of the things we do to be good people, serve, teach, give charity, money... but 'if I do not love, I am nothing.
Songs will fade to silence, stories they will cease
The dust will settle covering all my selfless deeds.
'If I cannot live my life loving my brother,
Then how can I love the One who lived his life for me?'
I am amazed at what I hear... even when I'm not listening.
I wasn't looking for an answer, just pondering the thoughts of change.
And there was my answer... LOVE.
I can do and do and give and give, but if I can't love, for whatever reason... do I really get it?
Love should not cease because of change. Love should increase, to make the transitions easier, smoother, for the one who has changed, and for the one who has stayed the same.
Love can heal, it has the power to forgive, to rebuild trust, to smooth over lack of understanding.
It is something we are, and need.
It is something we take away, withhold, and protect, when we hurt.
But, that very power can restore us to whole.
Yes, change does occur.
There are things far beyond my control.
I choose to stay the same.
BUT, I can still love.
And love is what will get us through, together.
One version The Song...